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Monday, January 21, 2008

Carolyn is getting after me to blog. So I am.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Imagine if you will, a web page, impressive in its simplicity, articulate in its choice of words, sounds, and imagery. Imagine the same sound repeating over and over endlessly. Imagine a background comprised of the same image tiled repeatedly. Imagine big, intense, streaming letters forming concise phrases, brilliant in their simplicity or staggeringly idiotic as the case may require.

Imagine You're the Man Now, Dog.

Reportedly, the phenomenon began in 2001 when a gent named Max Goldberg registered the domain yourethemannowdog.com and created this web page as a placeholder, in honor of a quote from the film Finding Forrester. It became somewhat of an internet fad, a meme, if you will, spawning similar creations.

Fast forward to the present. The ytmnd of today has evolved from its humble roots - many are now animated slide shows or small video clips with elaborately mixed sound files. Some are hilarious, some are stupid. Some are brazenly offensive and obscene. Some are combinations of the above-mentioned characteristics.

A few of my favorites:

picard.ytmnd.com - Fun to sing - gets stuck in my wife's head.
drzaius3.ytmnd.com - See above.
conanismichaeljacksonloop.ytmnd.com - Almost hypnotic.

Any ytmnd featuring Star Wars related material automatically gets bonus points from me (I am a huge fan, although arguably not as hardcore as my brother who made a full Jedi costume):

christmaschebacca.ytmnd.com - Play this at Christmas and your family will love you forever.
cornonthekabob.ytmnd.com - Made me laugh harder than any other ytmnd.
wookiessong.ytmnd.com - Also very funny.
vadercoaster.ytmnd.com - Because the lamentable, emotionally-charged utterances of individuals who have been told that they are responsible for the death of their spouse and unborn child, who have suffered severe burns and limb-extrication, and who have been apprenticed to evil wrinkled geriatrics are funny when used out of context.
vaderfortune.ytmnd.com - See above.
aotsvaderchoose.ytmnd.com - 'Cause sometimes, it's hard to make up your mind.
forcebaby.ytmnd.com - It's just funny.
yodamoskaudance.ytmnd.com - Also.
starwarsfreezer.ytmnd.com - Also.
tcruiseko.ytmnd.com - One of my absolute favorites.

One of the best things about ytmnd is the way fads spread like wildfire - a certain ytmnd will give rise to multiple variations, which then incorporate elements from other ytmnd's which themselves evolve out of control. The whole thing is a very interesting case study of memetics. Take the following: timetraveler.ytmnd.com.

Reportedly, this ad actually appeared in the classified section of a newspaper, sans photo, of which the origin is currently unknown. This ytmnd documents the effort to trace the origins of the ad, utilizing the grandtheftauto-est of fonts.

The original Safety Not Guaranteed ytmnd has given rise to multiple variations:

gulfwarsafety.ytmnd.com
cheneysafety.ytmnd.com
mariotimetraveler.ytmnd.com
civilwarsafety.ytmnd.com
timetraveleregypt.ytmnd.com
timetravelingsafety.ytmnd.com
totsafety.ytmnd.com – One of my personal favorites.

For those of you who were previously unfamiliar with the world of ytmnd, I hope you realize you have been given a gift. A gift that keeps on giving. Or taking. Your time. The gift that keeps taking your time. Day after day. After day. Forever. And ever.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I like the internet. I always have. When for some catastrophic reason my ability to quaff deeply from the information-encrusted chalice of the world wide web is hindered, I am displeased with those who are responsible. Fortunately, my ISP has only been the stumbling block to the satiation of my data addiction, or dataddiction, if you will, once in the year and a half or so I have been a patron of their services. Thus my money continues to trickle into their pockets ad infinitum.

But this is not about my ISP. This is about my desire to have access to the information I crave at all times. Which is why, when I was young and foolish, I found myself an early adopter of Toshiba's little jewel the e740, which, unlike most portables of its time, possessed 802.11b wireless capability. However, I soon learned that the range of the device was less than ideal. In addition, at the time the university where I dwelt was lacking in decent wifi coverage. Furthermore, browsing full-sized web pages on a 320 x 240 pixel screen is akin to parsing a large print version of Ye Olde Testamente through a stamp-sized hole in a bookmark.

Imagine my excitement when - yes, I will be commenting on yet another Nintendo announcement - Nintendo announces the forthcoming release of an Opera-based web browser capable of utilizing the Nintendo DS's integrated wifi hardware. Rather than issuing the browser in the form of a firmware upgrade, it will be distributed on a DS cartdridge, and cost about as much as a game. If the internet isn't worth as much as Nintendogs, I don't know what it's worth.

The internet on the DS will be a nice thing, I think. It's range will be short, but I've come to terms with that. The screens will still be small, but they will be twice the size of the e740's. Twice the size in terms of screen dimensions is more than twice as good, because the goodness, like area, increases as the square of the initial integer.

And games. I have failed to mention those. Playing games on the e740 was not easy - the buttons were definitely not tailored for recreational purposes, but rather for switching quickly between appointments and the phone book. I never had appointments, and I hate the telephone.

With the impending release of the new DS Lite, and its corresponding temporal relation to the date of my advent, my wife intends to endow me with portable gaming power adequate for my desires. And unless I decide to wait for the U.S. release (in the hopes of a black version), the question becomes this: white, blue, or bluer?

Thursday, September 15, 2005


It's finally been unveiled: the new Nintendo Revolution controller. Until today's Revolution Revelation, Nintendo have been tight-lipped with regard to the details of the controller's design. Naturally, this paved the way for a torrent of speculative mockups running the gamut from pretty cool to not so cool.

The controller is basically a three dimensional mouse, allowing control of three axes: up and down, left and right, and forward and backward (relative to the display). Different peripherals can be attached via the expansion port on the bottom (shown with an analog joystick attached).

How do I feel about it? I think it's fantastic. Watch this video and you will feel the same way. Tell me the FPS and sword-fighting parts didn't give you the chills and I will say you are dead inside. And we can't be friends anymore. And I will sell you on eBay and use the money to buy Revolution games.

In related news, Nintendo fanboys are crawling out of the woodwork to scream in delight/protest. Sony and Microsoft fanboys are also out in full force. Regardless of their loyalties, many are demonstrating their superior agility with the written word in the form of comments posted to various websites. Here's a comment from a reader over at Engadget (note: certain expletives have been replaced with the word 'PANTS'):
"This pwnz all!! All you PANTS biased fanboys can munch PANTS!!!

...All Sony and M$ do is add little things likg movie play back, mp3, DL services, but the games and gameplay are identicle...

Enter Nintendo: Bravo Nintendo, I applaud you. You continue to advance gaming every generation with new fresh ideas. You can bet your PANTS that the PS4 and XB720 will copy some Revolution PANTS by next gen... losers"
This guy does make a good point, namely that Nintendo does appear to be more innovative than its competitors with its next-gen decisions. But criticizing 'biased fanboys'? Referring to Microsoft as M$? Get it? It's a $ sign instead of an S, coz M$ only cares abuot teh money and not making inavative gamez u want too play lol!!!!!11 Xbox 360? More like Xflop 360!!!!111oneoneone

In case you couldn't tell, I don't really care for fanboys. So let's make fun of another one. This comment comes from Joystiq:
"what an unbelievable JOKE.

I guess Nintendo isn't serious about being a real game machine. They realize they cant grab any market legit games so they, by their own admittance, are going to try and grab the left overs(girls, old people, and children).

I hope all of you who are excited about this are in one of those categories because you are coming off a bit gay.

...what a joke this is, it might indeed make money, but you aren't going to be playing Madden, Resident Evil, Metal Gear Solid, Halo, GTA, etc. etc. etc. on that thing anytime soon.

WHAT A JOKE."
This is a classic strategy: in the absence of a legitimate argument, challenge your opponent's sexual preference.

One more:
"if i wanted to play with a remote controle i wouls use my tvs not buy a damn console"
I want this guy's TV - apparently it has games built in. My TV only has one game, but I'm really good at it. The way it works is you push a button and the TV turns on. If you push it again, it turns off. I win every time!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Plastic Bugs' Scott Moschella has put together the "Sitcom Door Quiz" which is exactly like it sounds - you are given the name of a sitcom, and three options for the location of that sitcom's main entrance - left, right, or center rear. I didn't get a good score simply because I haven't seen a lot of the sitcoms listed - 227, Alice - but for the sitcoms I had seen I was amazed at how easy it was to recall the door's position. It's a fun way to waste a couple minutes and maybe learn some useless trivia that might prove useful in some future scenario.

What's that? In what scenario would this be useful, you ask? Well, suppose you die and the keeper of the pearly gates presents you with not one but three sets of pearly gates - one to the left, one to the right, and one at the rear center - and tells you that heaven's entrance is in the same place as ALF's. Then you'd be pretty glad you spent the time with this quiz, wouldn't you? Yes. Yes you would.

Be sure to give me a thank-you haunting from the afterlife.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

fear


fear, originally uploaded by peptidefarmer.

I'm a big fan of those fake motivational posters, so I've made a couple in Photoshop. Nothing I'm too proud of yet, but I thought this one turned out kind of cute.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Apparently it is now common for members of the world wide interwebs to compose their thoughts on life the universe and everything into delightful little textual snippets called 'blogs'. I am fascinated by this idea. And blog is a funny word. It sounds like it could be used very humorously in many contexts: "I'm going to blog you over the head with this sock full of nickels until you tell me where you hid the marmoset king's needlepoint masterpiece".

So, is a blog just a public journal? Because I wasn't big on the whole public journal thing when I was young. In fact, I did just about everything I could to keep my journal exclusively non-public.

When I was a kid we used to write on pieces of paper in a book, and never let other people read it. Except for your brothers who would find it, read the entry about the crush you had on a cute girl from church, and tease you mercilessly. But we're over that, with no permanent emotional scarring. That's our story. We are adhering to it.


So now that I have hopped on the blogwagon, what can I expect in terms of revenue? Does blogging pay well? To whom do I send my timecard? I mean, newspapers contain textual snippets and interesting factoids, and people pay money for newspapers. At least, they used to. Does anyone know if people still buy newspapers? I think the only time in recent years I've utilized a newspaper is when I need to paint something and I don't want to ruin the carpet.

I suppose I might as well give a little introduction about myself. Although probably most of the people reading this are either related to me by marriage, blood, or both (just kidding), I'd like to think that at some point some stranger may meander in this direction.

My name is peptide farmer (no, it's not my real name). The degree I have acquired suggests that I might be a scientist of some sort. Something to do with bacteria. I don't actually farm peptides for a living, but the name is fun and it confuses people.

I have some siblings. Some are male, and some are female. Some are older than I, and some are younger. I have two parents. I love cats. I enjoy food, drink, sleep, and all the normal behaviours typically associated with members of my species. I have no offspring, but am married and do intend to one day create diminutive versions of myself to perpetuate my nefarious schemes long after I have vanished.

Don't ask me where I'm going when I vanish - I haven't decided yet.